Play That Funky Music, TwoBit!
by T.J.Grei
Summary: TwoBit... drunk yet again... and he has a special song for you! [ONESHOT]


Two-Bit... drunk yet again... and he has a special song for you!

* * *

**Play That Funky Music, Two-Bit.**

Steve was supporting a drunken Two-Bit over his shoulders up to the Curtis house. They finally made it in; Steve threw Two-Bit on the couch, right on Pony and Johnny. Darry was in his chair, reading the paper. He looked up to see Pony and Johnny pushing Two-Bit onto the floor. Then he looked at Steve and asked, "What happened?"

"Two-Bit's drunk."

"Again?" Darry, Pony, and Johnny asked in unison.

"Yes, again. Anyways, I drug him here, I didn't wanna take him to his house... too far." Steve said, sitting down next to Pony as Two-Bit got back to his feet.

"Hewo, peeps!" he greeted. "How are ya'll?"

"Fine... Two-Bit, yer drunk..." Johnny said.

"Am not!"

"Yeah you are, man. Sit down and get some rest!"

"I can prove... I ish not drunk..." he said.

"Yeah right!" Pony challenged. Steve was motioning Pony not to say it, but he did. Steve rested his head back, gettin' ready for the song. Two-Bit disappeared into the kitchen, staggering of course, and came back with a wooden spoon. He got up onto the coffee table and wielded the spoon like a microphone. Steve rolled his eyes.

"Now you've done it, Pony..." he said, making Darry sit up straight. Two-Bit looked around, grinning like a stupid drunk. Suddenly, he broke into a horrible singing voice.

"_Once I was a boogie singer  
Playing in a rock and roll band  
I never had no problems, yeah  
Running down the one night stands  
And everything around me, yeah  
Got to start to feeling so low  
And I decided quickly  
To disco down and check out the show." _

He sang, pointing to Darry. Darry looked disgusted and worried at the same time. Steve shrugged.

"Told ya."

"_Yea they were dancing and singing and moving to the grooving  
And just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted  
Play that funky music, white boy"_

He pointed to Johnny as he sang and began to dance to the song.

_  
"Play that funky music, right  
Play that funky music, white boy  
Lay down the boogie and play that funky music 'til you die"  
_

Two-Bit jumped from the table, went to Darry, and sang again:

"_I tried to understand this,  
I thought that they were out of their minds."_

He pointed to his head on 'mind'

_  
"How could I be so foolish ,  
to not see I was the one behind.  
But still I kept on fightin',  
woah, loosin every step of the way.  
I said I must go back there,  
and check and see if things are still the same"_

He went over to Steve and sat on his lap and continued to sing,

"_When they were dancing and singing and moving to the grooving  
And just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted" _

He jumped to his feet and swayed his hips a little, doing arm motions with it as he sang,

"_Play that funky music white boy  
Play that funky music right  
Play that funky music white boy  
Lay down and the boogie and play that funky music 'til you die"_

Two-Bit lowered the spoon and held it like a guitar, and played air guitar for a few seconds. Then he lifted it back up and sang again,

"_Now first it wasn't easy  
Changing rock and roll at Myze  
And things were gettin' shaky  
I thought I'd have to leave it behind  
But now it's so much better  
I'm funking out in every way  
But I'll never lose that feeling  
Of how I learned my lesson that day"_

Two-Bit swayed his hips again, went over to Pony, pulled him up and make him dance with him.

"_When they were dancing and singing and moving to the grooving  
And just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted  
Play that funky music, white boy"_

He spun Pony; Pony fell to the couch again. This time, Two-Bit returned to the table and danced again.

"_Play that funky music, right  
Play that funky music, white boy  
Lay down the boogie and play that funky music 'til you die._"

Steve shook his head, laughing as Darry got up to direct Two-Bit to a bed.

"Darry, the song ain't over yet..." he said. Two-Bit grabbed Darry and pulled him up to the table and danced with him.

"_They shouted  
Play that funky music  
Play that funky music  
Play that funky music  
Play that funky music, white boy,  
Play that funky music right, _

_Play that funky music 'till you die._"

Two-Bit hopped down, tossed the spoon to Johnny, and grinned a drunken grin.

"Told ya I ain't drunk." he said, then walked towards Darry's room, "I'm goin' to bed..." he said as he went in and shut the door. They heard a thud of Two-Bit falling on the bed. Everyone let out a held breath. Darry got off of the table and wiped off his jeans.

"Alright, no more beer for Two-Bit..."

"Agreed." the rest said. Then Steve turned to Pony and glared at him.

"It's all your fault."

"Is not."

"You challenged him, it's your fault!"

"You let him get drunk."

"But I warned you."

"Yeah but..."

"Your fault, now shut up."

"Just no more beer for Two-Bit..."

"An no more funky music for him either."

"Amen to that!"

* * *

Thank God for Vanilla Ice and his song, "Play That Funky Music White Boy" song! If not... it would have been:

"I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie world! Made of plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation!" and that woul scar Johnny for life... geez...

REVIEW PLEASE!


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